I fondly remember my first experience of prayer. I was four years old, in my Holly Hobby bed, getting ready to go to sleep for the night. My mother had read me the bedtime story, as usual, but this evening she decided to also teach me the "Our Father". As we prayed together, I felt a deep fascination within me. It was as if my mother had given me a new gift, much better than any toy. I laughed with joy as he said the word “transgressions.” I loved the sound of that word. I thought it was the funniest word I'd ever heard. The laughter subsided until, in the next sentence, I heard “transgressions” again. My laughter was contagious. My mother couldn't continue until we were both exhausted from laughing. As he finished the prayer with the word “evil,” I remember a very serious tone overshadowing me. I wasn't afraid, but I was sober. I went to sleep thinking about how good this God was who would protect me from all evil. I was the eldest child in the family and at that time I was the only child. We spent every day together, just me and mom. Every morning, as we made the bed, Mom sang the song from the Disney production Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, "Just Whistle While You Work." After our morning chores, we took a “coffee break”. Mom was having her coffee. I drank the milk warmed up, with a little coffee added, just enough to give it a creamy brown color. As the day went on, we did laundry and planned our grocery list. We cooked and shopped together. I had an abundance of craft supplies to cut, glue, or design anything I could imagine. On laundry day I would sit on my little tablecloth amidst piles of dirty laundry and create every craft idea I could imagine. My mother was tra...... middle of paper ...... year my entire adult life. Now, music in life was back. I had denied much of my true self as I tried to look nothing like my mother. I opened myself to total trust in another person, thus learning to love as God wanted me to love. My marriage has healed significantly. I no longer allowed my perfectionist nature to paralyze me or discourage my husband. I developed a new motto: “Praise God and do it imperfectly.” Although the intense closeness I experienced in my private retreat with my Lord has faded, I realize that it is my job to keep the lantern burning. From time to time, fear or self-pity seems to creep into my life with its unpleasant appearance. So I wait with joyful hope because I know that my Lord will return to me again one day. "Perfect love casts out all fear." Jesus Christ was, is and always will be my Perfect Love.