The student uses slang terms, such as "for beginners" (line 13) and "kids" (line 83), which according to Brizee and Driscoll (2012), reduce the academic level of the wise man. Other weaknesses throughout the essay include abbreviations of terms (e.g. "ads" for advertisements), no elaboration of acronyms (e.g. "SES" meaning socioeconomic status), poor word choice, spelling errors, and lack of flow due to grammatical errors. Additionally, Student presents previous research in bullet-point form. Because an analytical essay is usually written in a formal manner, the University of New England (n.d.) recommends avoiding bullet points. Obesity (Student n.d.) could be improved by addressing these weaknesses in the form of proofreading and spell checking, as well as expanding acronyms and using full words instead of